What is it to Feel Lucky?

Conversation with a mom I met a couple of weeks ago.

Her: So, does your son go to daycare?

Me: No, we actually have family that watches him.

Her: Oh, that's great, you're really lucky in that. So, you must work part time?

Me: Nope, I work full time.

Her: Ohhh, really.

(End of conversation)

What the 'Ohhh, really' really meant I'll never know, but that reaction has really stuck to me lately. I know it's sometimes causes confrontation when the conversation comes up about whether a mother should work outside the home or not, and I hope I don't hit a nerve with anyone here. In our household we've made the decision for both parents to work outside the home, for those who know me know it's not something I love, it's just the best decision for us with our circumstances. The part of the conversation that I'd like to focus on here is the 'you're really lucky in that.' part referring to us being able to have family watch our child. I get this reaction all the time when I tell people our daycare schedule. And I do believe we are very, very lucky, but there's always a downside. Growing up I've always been very close with my maternal grandmother, who happens to watch my son 2 days a week. I've also always been very close with my mother, who happens to watch my son 1 day a week. Before my son was born my mother, grandmother and I hung out all the time. We did lunch, craft fairs, shopping and just visited with each other always. I always felt I could tell them anything. Well, ya know that saying "Having a Child Changes Everything?" Besides the changes of the fact that I'll never get to get a full nights sleep again, never eat a meal without interruption from a child again, never have a clean house stay clean for a matter of seconds again, I also don't think I'll have the relationship that I had with my mom and grandmother again. It's been a little while since my mom and especially since my grandmother have had babies around. The times have changed through the years and when it comes to certain things our decisions seemed to clash. Now I find myself not talking about things that may cause confrontation, and in the times that they have caused confrontations we've walked away from the situation with feeling hurt. Hopefully as time goes on things will get better. It's not that I don't look to my older generations for help and opinions on what they think I should do in certain situations, it's just that sometimes I don't agree with them and I hope they eventually see and realize that I am the mother of this child and what I say goes. If I mess up, I need to learn from my mistakes, just like I'm sure they did. We are truly blessed with the family that we've got, I know some that don't have family at all and are forced to put their child in daycare, but just let me say I didn't think it would cause this much heartache.